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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Betty's LiveJournal:
| Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 | |
| 2:23 pm | roam just when i thought that i figured out the differences between the cable cars and electric buses and regular buses... there are the muni trains and bart trains.  |
| Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009 | |
| 10:28 am | To See or Not to See I was 7 years old when I got my first pair of glasses. I remember staring at my text book's print get bolder, sharper or finer, lighter as I flipped my glasses up and down. I was trying to find the reason for having these ugly, beige, plastic glasses. I thought I could see fine without them... but I didn't. I got scolded both by my teacher and my mother about how my vision will get worse and how much money was spent on them. I was four eyed, Betty Crocker. My brother said that it was a good thing to have glasses. It helped to hide my ugly face. What didn't help was how friggin' ugly those frames were. Kids and older siblings are cruel. I was 21 years old when I got my first pair of contact lenses. I was in awe of the unobstructed view of my world and was intensely excited about the freedom from my glasses slipping down my nose on a hot, humid day. Of course, there was a price... the dryness, the irritation and the clutter of different solutions and cases all over our bathroom shelf. To make it fun, I'd buy a new set of frames whenever I went for my annual checkup. Trendy plastic ones, funky colored ones, serious wire ones... unfortunately, it didn't compare to being free. "Let me look at you with your glasses on, one last time..." "Are you seriously going to miss them?" "Yeah..." "Remember when we were kids and you had a crush on me even with those beige frames? Do you still have that picture???" "HAHAHAHAHAH... yep" "I'm nervous about tomorrow but so excited!" "You'll be fine" "I know, I can't wait." It's been a month since my LASIK surgery. It's been, amazing, simply amazing. I just can't believe how freeing it is to have done this. Don't get me wrong, there were risks and there are down sides to getting LASIK such as getting middle aged and needing reading glasses in a few years but really, that just for reading and up close seeing. Honestly, I want look out and see my girls smiling or catching him staring at me. If my brother has a problem with my ugly face, that's too damn bad. |
| Monday, April 13th, 2009 | |
| 11:28 am | |
| Tuesday, April 7th, 2009 | |
| 5:30 pm | |
| Thursday, February 5th, 2009 | |
| 1:30 pm | Silence I wish I had something good to say... but I don't, so I won't. |
| Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 | |
| 10:09 am | The Day Has Come I've been caught. The day has come when my hiding spot has been found. My mental gems, my treasures. My journal. You see, when I started this journal 7 years ago, I didn't know that I would take it so seriously and come back hoarding my goods and stashing them here and sharing them with webbers. 7 years. That's a long time to have hidden. I just said to a friend that someday, I'd have to shut down my LJ to keep my kids from finding it. Little did I know, my kids... not MY kids but my brother's kids have found me. They are kinda my kids because I had a hand in raising them when they were born. When I left and got married, they started to distance themselves as most pre-teens do. Now that they're full blown teenagers, I've been shut out... and like most moms, I stand at their door, wanting to knock but I stand down and let them be. They're not themselves when I'm around. They stop talking or get all antsy. I should try harder because they're family. Even though they don't see that I'm there, I'm there... waiting for them to let me in. My initial thought was to shut down this journal... but then I thought, why? Why have I shared all these thoughts and experiences with strangers who aren't strangers anymore, but hid them from my loved ones and friends? I'm not ashamed of anything I've posted. It's not like there's a video of me dancing in a crop top for an LJ danceathon floating around... I hope. |
| Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 | |
| 12:43 pm | Who's Porn? I was visiting my family this past weekend like most weekends. Julia got the case of skin fungus from her swim class so I went down into my mom's room to fetch a tube of Lamisil. I was just about to enter her doorway when I glimpsed a book and stopped in my tracks. I looked over my shoulder to see if someone was behind me when I quickly flipped its pages. I checked the stairs to make sure no one came down while I picked it up to inspect further. "Love Positions"... *smirk*, "I don't remember this..." Woah, I hope Mom doesn't think that it's mine. Oh my, I hope it isn't Mom's! Judging by the unisex Farrah Fawcett hair, it's old. Ick, it's my brother's! Ok, let's not jump to any conclusions. I got the Lamisil from Mom's room and put the book back, out in the open. "Hey, ladies, I found a dirty book downstairs by Mom's room." "What? Where?" "Right by YOUR door." I led my mom and my sister-in-law down to show them the proof. As I picked it up and flipped through it, they both cringed and looked away. Oh yeah, these are very prudish women. I was amused and pointed at the hair styles, proof that it was an old book. Possibly the 70's era. "It's your brother's." "It's probably yours, Betty." "What? Possibly but I don't remember it." "It's mom's." "Oh shush, it's not mine!" "So where did it come from???!" "Stop flipping through it and toss it out!" "OK!" *chuckle* Current Mood:  amused |
| Wednesday, August 27th, 2008 | |
| 11:12 am | Crushed Oh my dear God, I just ruined my daughter's life by cutting two of her fingers off. We couldn't see in the dark except for the light coming from the soda machine but it was enough to see the blood and the future of Julia's fingers. We never imagined that we would end our weekend vacation this way... We raced up to our motel room to inspect further and it was decided that she needed get to the nearest emergency room. I stayed behind with Sophia and with each second that passed, my heart grew heavier with anticipation. Flashes of an adventurous Julia climbing out through my car door because we disabled hers. Images of me, opening her door to reach in for an empty sippy bottle and then shutting it. Julia... oh my God, geezuz, Julia! The screaming... I will never forget her screaming. She had her fingers caught on the hinge of the car door. I had to reopen her door to free her. I was jarred from the mental replays when Sophia ran around the room calling for Julia. I had to distract myself. I planted Sophia next to me and watched The Cho Show. I started to relax a bit when my cell phone rang. They had just arrived and registered to see a doctor. Sophia munched on some blueberries, drank another bottle of milk and she was out for the night. I sat there toggling between more replays and more of The Cho Show. "Oh Julia, I'm so sorry..." I sobbed into her shoulder. "Mommy, are you crying?" Julia has never seen me cry. Atleast, she doesn't remember seeing me cry. In her mind, if Mommy cries, it must be really bad. Her body was trembling as Daddy carried her out the door. I gave her a sweater to drape over her shoulders. My cell phone signaled that a text had come in. "She's feeling better, joking around. She can bend her fingers it seems. Don't worry" I was relieved a bit but wanted to hear the xray results. As with ER visits, there's a lot of waiting. I flipped through the channels for some stress relief. The room buzzed with static every so often and Sophia would stir. *cringe* TLC's Untold Stories of the ER. *clickclickclick* Ah, The Animal Planet. I glanced at my phone every few minutes to make sure that I didn't miss any alerts and my heart grew heavy again. I'm so thankful the door didn't completely close. It did latch but it wasn't shut tight. Still, the guilt was relentness. Why didn't I check? They returned shortly before midnight, her fingers in band aids and whole. In great spirits and hungry, she was back to herself. She escaped a horrific accident with a mere crush injury, discharged with instructions to take ibuprofen and fingers to be iced. The hub reported that the doctors and nurses all praised her with being so good and brave throughout the visit. "I had fun, Mommy." What a way to end a Summer vacation... |
| Monday, August 11th, 2008 | |
| 1:55 pm | Banana, Twinkie, White Washed... Americanized. I was at the mall one afternoon with my brother's kids and Julia when I stopped and said, "What happened to Kaybee Toys? What's a mall without a toy store??" My 15 year old niece pointed out that we passed one called "Morning Glory". To which I replied that it was more of a Chinatown, Hello Kitty store which will not likely carry authentic Razor scooters but probably some named Rasor or maybe carry Defa Lucy dolls that look just like Barbie but the head falls off when Sophia roughs it up too much. "Where is your Asian pride???" WHAT?!? Ok, I guess some of our friends and family might feel as though I'm not as "Chinese" as they are. The hub is considered more of a "Gwai Lo" rather than a hapa. We don't decorate our home with auspicious knick knacks or hang red fortune signs on our doors. However, I do burn incense on auspicious days (when my mom tells me to) to thank the Gods for having a roof over our heads, income coming in and a healthy family. I don't wear black to a Chinese banquet nor walk into a person's home with my shoes on. I pass out "Lai See" envelopes on Chinese New Year. I could go on and on and list reasons why I am or am not white washed but really... why? I still have pride on WHO I am, not WHAT I am. |
| Tuesday, June 10th, 2008 | |
| 2:38 pm | Scary Movie The hub and I have been looking for a good scare. No gore, just hair-standing creep outs. It seems that the scary movies usually include mute children that point into the darkness... What's your scariest movie choice of all time? |
| Monday, June 9th, 2008 | |
| 2:38 pm | Crossing the Border of Cyberness. Remember this?  Here's another tamer mauling moment, post pregnancies.  I crossed the border weeks ago and I wish there was a moment more to see more Torontonians... but for this trip, here's to the moms.  There's a lot to be said about online friendships. It goes deeper in many ways because you already know them so well, dare I say, better than anyone else in our lives. Online journals are like cheaters' guides to friendships, you get the details on who they are and by the time you meet them for the first time, it's not really the first time. I'm hoping to cross the border again but the store hours HAVE to change!!! We can't get used to you people closing your mall at 7 p.m. Damn. No wonder you guys come over to our side to shop (besides the tax issues). |
| Friday, March 14th, 2008 | |
| 2:13 pm | Pleasure is My Business Ketchup chips. I know now what the big friggin' fuss is about. If you Canadian transplants crave them, I think the closest you might find in the U.S. is the Salt & Vinegar chips. Not as sweet but the tang is the same. I think the Wise brand is even closer than the Utz. Try it and let me know if I'm wrong. I'm crunching away on the ketchup chips as I type. That and my Starbucks coffee. Yeah, I should be drinking Tim Horton's but the hotel only serves Starbucks. Today is day four in Montreal. It's been awesome. The boutiques here are just... dangerous. Even more so with the severe taxing that goes on here. Even the credit cards in my back pocket wouldn't be able to shield my ass from the financial lashing of this government. It's been brutal but these new jeans are worth it. "Yes Sir, may I have another!" The hub has been working away deep into the nights here. By some coincidence, the office building is across the street from the hotel. By even some stranger coincidence, his office window faces our hotel window and only a floor or two off. If you saw how big both buildings are and for us to end up on facing sides of each other, you'd wonder what power was keeping us together even when we're apart. Many times already, we have crossed paths. I'm coming back in as he's on his way out. I'm leaving when he's on his way back in. We always come back to each other. Such as our relationship. For the first time in years, I started and finished a book. It's been so long since I've gotten lost in one. It's now in the hotel room's recycling bin. The hub came back at 4 in the a.m. to find it in there. He knew that I was aiming to finish it while he was working and he guessed that it sucked. He was right on. Nothing kills me like a shitty book with a shitty ending. Well, it's time for lunch. |
| Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 | |
| 10:31 am | Play DOH! Everyone loves Playdoh. Everyone loves its smell... atleast, everyone that I know. "God, I LOVE the smell of Playdoh. Why do they have to make it so irresistable? I just wanna eat it." *gag* "Oh, really? Wow. I'm not too fond of the smell... Personally... I really don't like the smell and I'm the only freak that retches at the slightest waft of Playdoh in my airspace. The hub thinks it smells good, Julia certainly loves the smell and just the other day, Sophia expressed her penchant for it as well because... well... she tried to eat it. I had to dig it out of her mouth. *gaggaggag* Am I the only one who doesn't want to gobble it up? Can I have a quick poll on how many of you like it and who doesn't? I can't be the only one. Playdoh smells great! Yes or No. |
| Tuesday, January 15th, 2008 | |
| 2:48 pm | Liar Liar You know how women fight and claw away from aging? I've been rounding up and telling people that I'm older than I really am. *shrug* Why not? :) |
| Thursday, January 10th, 2008 | |
| 4:13 pm | What? Wow. There's nothing like having a nice cup of coffee. You know, especially when you find a high bounce ball at the bottom of your cup... complete with cat hair and all. *hackhackhack* PATOOEY. "Julia... are you still looking for your ball? I found it." "Mommy, why did you put my ball in your coffee?" *stare* |
| Wednesday, November 28th, 2007 | |
| 4:41 pm | RAD "I don't think it's asthma but maybe something more like Reactive Airway Disorder. It's not asthma, why do you guys look so sad?" The hub and I looked at each other and realized how it's affected us both to see Julia on the nebulizer. To lighten the mood (and to distract each other from crying), we made it fun by making Julia's baby doll "breathe" the medicated mist in too. We were sent home with prescriptions and a spacer (A spacer is this face mask that assists a child to use the inhaler correctly.) for Julia. My mind is full but nothing to say. Well, mostly, "This fuckin' sucks". Wow, this fuckin' sucks. My poor Julia. |
| Wednesday, November 7th, 2007 | |
| 11:27 am | Dolls  Last weekend, I got asked, "So how is it now with TWO kids?" I truly thought it'd be more difficult. Although I can't say that it's easy, it's still pretty awesome. The girls love each other and they laugh at the silliest things together. I can't understand it but they certainly understand each other. They can speak beyond words. I never would've imagined how awesome it could be to have two little girls. "You guys are going to have trouble once they start dating..." "Honey, you got that shotgun polished and ready?" "Damn straight. I've got three beautiful girls to protect now." |
| Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 | |
| 4:12 pm | |
| Monday, July 30th, 2007 | |
| 4:48 pm | |
| Friday, June 29th, 2007 | |
| 10:22 am | Sissy Growing up in a vermin infested Chinatown apartment, I was the kid that passed time by twisting roach heads upside down to see if they'd be able to walk straight. I was the spider collector. I even tied a string around a huge fly once. Pretty funny because nowadays, I've become less of a bug catcher and more of a quiet squealer upon seeing the little moving shadows. While eating dinner at the in-laws, we were setting up for dinner and Julia was boosted up into her seat. From the corner of my eye, I spotted movement on the wall. Of course, I knew what it was... a waterbug. I did my quiet squeal and walked quickly over to get the hub to kill it. Julia took notice and did the nervous squeal as my even sissier sister-in-law just ran, I don't recall if she did any squealing. Same place, different night, Julia screams from the bathroom about a roach. I ran to her but then hesitated for a moment that it might be a waterbug since the in-laws' apartment gets the occasional monster roach. I continued in there to find that it was just a normal sized roach scuttling up the wall. I was relieved but was annoyed at myself for having to smooth the hairs back down on my arms. I hate that I'm not the girl that I used to be. Imagine the fun that could be had in twisting waterbug heads. |
